Trump’s Rhetoric Tilt Canadians From Polite To "Get F**ked, Eh"
OTTAWA — Canada’s famed politeness has officially entered its Joker arc after Trump floated annexing the "Maple Nation". The result? A nation once known for apologizing to lampposts now sharpens hockey sticks into shivs and hisses like a territorial goose.
Quotes From Locals
- “I’ll shove this 51st State up your star-spangled a**, eh!” snarled Toronto local Chad Moose, 24, chugging Molson like war paint.
- “F**k your Swasticar” hissed Dorothy Sweet, 64, now facing charges for keying a Tesla with a New York license plate.
Canadian parliament has voted to replace the national anthem with ”Bodies” by Drowning Pool and deploy Mounties on actual moose with flamethrowers.
Toronto’s streets now resemble The Purge: Polite Edition. Tim Hortons baristas spit in “Freedom Fries” orders, while hockey dads offer to “check” GOP lobbyists “into the 4th dimension.”
TL;DR: Canada:"I am no longer your buddy, pal!"
