Timothée Chalamet Drops Puberty Blockers to Play Batman
HOLLYWOOD — In a move that’s left fans screaming “Not my babygirl Bruce Wayne!” Timothée Chalamet has allegedly quit puberty blockers to transform into the Caped Crusader for The Batman: Sand Dunes in Gotham. Sources confirm the actor’s prep includes “testosterone smoothies,” screaming into a pillow to deepen his voice, and bulking up at Gold's Gym.
“I’ve been chemically freezing myself at 18 since Interstellar” Chalamet confessed at a press junket. “But Matt Reeves said I gotta sound less like a ASMR boyfriend and more like a guy who fights clowns. So… here’s my gravelly era.”
The side effects? Dire. Sources say Chalamet’s voice dropped so low during rehearsals, it shattered a Starbucks window and his first attempt at a push-up caused a bicep tear...ouch!
The decision sparked chaos. Fans stormed Warner Bros. HQ with signs reading “LET HIM SQUEAK!” while TikTok edits of Chalamet’s pre-puberty roles played Hallelujah on loop. “First he ruins peaches, now he’s ruining Batman?” sobbed Reddit user @Timaaaaaaay
The studio’s official statement? “Timothée’s Batman will be revolutionary—imagine Call Me By Your Name, but with more grapple hooks and daddy issues.”
TL;DR: Timmay is Batman
