Gym Bro Shocked To Find Gains Attracting More Dudes Than Women
MIAMI BEACH — Gym bros shocked to discover their gains are attracting more sausage than tacos! A groundbreaking study reveals that while women prefer dad bods, gay men are all about that "protest muscularity."
"I've been flexing in the mirror for nothing?" cried Chad, 25, realizing his biceps were more likely to score him a Grindr date than a Tinder match.
Meanwhile, Grindr reported a 69% increase in mirror selfies captioned "Looking for gym buddy... and maybe more."
Local gyms now offer "Straight Guy Camouflage" classes, teaching men how to cultivate the perfect beer gut to attract women.
As one Gen Z observer noted, "Muscles are the new dick pics - unsolicited and appreciated only by other dudes."
TL;DR: Pumping Iron = 🍆🍆🍆
