About Us

Welcome to KOALA TIMES, your daily dose of chlamydia free news, guaranteed to hit your bloodstream like a rabies shot administered by a team of caffeinated koalas.

🚨 DISCLAIMER 🚨

KoalaTimes.com is a SATIRICAL NEWS SITE. Everything you read here is 100% made-up, exaggerated, or dunked in a vat of absurdity. Our “news” is about as real as your Tinder match’s job title (“entrepreneur” = sells feet pics). If you mistake our jokes for facts, that’s a you problem. We are not liable for:

Your decision to email an article to your boss “as evidence.”
Your grandma disowning you after reading our “Peloton Cult Exposé."
Existential crises caused by overthinking our fake celebrity feud headlines.

No real people, animals, or sentient toasters were harmed in the making of this content (probably). Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental, like your dating life.

TL;DR: Don’t @ us. Don’t cite us in court. Don’t blame us if you fail trivia night.